My personal twist on a haibun

So after being encouraged to use complete sentences for my Haibun, I reworked the original into this one. If you happen to stumble across it, tell me what you think, please.

The Seeds of Fruit – a haibun (edited to try and be more technically correct)

As I wondered through the woods, I saw helicopters falling from the tree. But it was only seedlings aplenty floating down around me. As some floated away off on the wind, others succumbed to gravity, their will it did bend.

float down little seed
I know not where you will root
or lay dormantly

Some of these seeds will start new lives away. But others stop, their journey done, here they stay. For this tree to continue life and make new air; it must make more seeds than ever will bear.

my seed I have sown
over and over again
two mini me’s live

Once my seed in the form of my sons had taken root; I decided enough was enough, and I gave fertility the boot. It only took a couple of snips and eight titanium clips; and now never again will I have to worry about any possible slips.

like a gun with blanks
you can let me shoot for days
your target i miss

Like this mighty tree alone in the woods, I too have many seeds; but I had to be careful, because at the same time, I have many needs. With this tale you now know I have no more worries of making a baby. So tell me sweet girl, does this change your no to a maybe?

Original Post

So I know this is technically not a true haibun, but as the great Magaly Guerrero so kindly told me “Experimenting with poetry is always fun. And you have a whole day and a half to play with it!”
Haha. Ok. So the last part of her comment made me want to retort with a snort, never give me that much time to play with it.  I am a guy. I’d starve. But no, she meant before my real haibun needs to be done for her April Games.
This is one (I thought) I wrote the other day walking in the woods. I hope you enjoy it. It started sincere and then somewhere my brain digressed.

the seeds of fruit – a haibun (so I thought)

i saw helicopters falling from the tree
seedlings aplenty floating down at me
some floated away off on the wind
others the gravity, their will did bend

float down little seed
i know not where you will root
or lay dormantly

some seeds will start new lives away
others’ journeys stop, here they stay
to continue life and make new air
this tree makes more seeds than will bear

my seed i have sown
over and over again
two mini me’s live

once my seed had taken root
i gave fertility the boot
a couple of snips and titanium clips
never again will i worry about slips

like a gun with blanks
you can let me shoot for days
your target i miss

so like the tree i had many seeds
but at the same time, i have many needs
no more worries of making a baby so i hope this changes your no to a maybe

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About photoclark

Who am I? I ask myself that every day. But in reality I am just me.......
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