Privacy

How are you?

Do you really want to know?

You’re just a nosey fool.

With no where else to go.

If you must,

I am fine.

Please don’t pry.

It’s out of line.

Privacy:

I have none!

I think they only ask me.

To sate their insecure mind.

Oh how they’d quiver;

If I let them into mine.

Might just be an option.

At another time.

Privacy

Who really has it? I grew up in a small town where doors were left open and it was not uncommon for someone to stop by and just walk on in. Most of the time they gave you a few second warning by calling out, but all that did was give you time to sigh.

As a kid, I really never thought much about it. Except when I used the washroom. As I grew older, I liked less and less, people being in my business. Not so much the “Watchya gonna do today?” question; but the mental probing, personal life inquisition.

I hear you laughing at me. With the social media; two Instagram accounts, Facebook, blog, etc, you’re thinking I want the world to know it all. No, not really. I do expose myself more than some with my poetry, but that’s part me and part fantasy. If we were all honest with each other, most social media posts are showing the wonderful stuff that we want people to see and think about us. No one wants to see my dirty car, or care what I do for work, etc. we all want to see that cool hiking picture. You know the one; when I pulled over and walked 15 feet down a trail for the right angle. You never see the people with the fashion or “model” pages show you them rolling out of bed in the morning. Lol.

Ok. Sorry about that. Back to topic. Any of you live close to family? You can’t go anywhere, do anything, see anyone, buy anything, etc without the 20 questions. “I saw you in the store but you walked away. What were you doing? What did you buy? Are you ignoring me? Lol. Stop the insanity. When did it become a rule I had to say “hi” and make up conversation just because I know you or you’re family? I’ve actually avoided my parents in a store. Lol. That was tricky, but successful. I’m such a horrible person!

Or, how about the ……

Them: “We drove by and your place was dark. Where were you?”

Me (in my brain): “If I wanted you to know what I was doing, I would have called or texted to let you know ahead of time.”

Me (out loud): “Oh, I just ran to the store and got a bite to eat.” This might, in fact, have been what I did, but they don’t need to know that.

Please don’t judge me yet.

I love the intimacy of sharing my mind with another. I think there is only one person in this world that knows the entire me and vis versa. That person has never broken my trust, nor I theirs. Sadly, I have had family break trust trying to “fix” what was bothering me and completely creating the opposite effect. I quit sharing my intimate feelings and thoughts with this person and I have missed it, but I won’t put myself there again.

I don’t think there will ever be another that knows the complete me, and that’s ok. We all have secrets. We all have past occurrences and things we have done that we don’t want to revisit or share with another.

I’m actually contemplating moving just to create space and more privacy from my parents. I love them dearly, but they can’t stand me being around and them not knowing everything. Lol. I hope I don’t become them. I like to think my sons can do what they want without me prying or trying to insert myself in the middle of it.

Privacy. How can I create it in a world that knows no boundaries? I have absolutely no idea except to lock my door and turn off the lights.

I hope you have better luck.

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